what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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