I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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