I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
