Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
