she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
