The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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