Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
