She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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