the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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