I cannot find my penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
