Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
