Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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