I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
