so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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