we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
