I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
