just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
