absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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