If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
