I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
