It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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