I think I died a long time ago.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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