It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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