I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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