The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
