You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
