Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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