he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
