He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
