literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my liver is dry heaving
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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