if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
