Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
