I think scott just propositioned me for sex
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
