when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
