I bet he comes in French.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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