ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
