Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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