Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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