Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
