I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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