once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love having hate sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
