I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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