He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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