This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
