Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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