I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
