Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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