flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
