He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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