Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
