I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
