hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
