I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just invented taco cereal.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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