If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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